It's mah sex box, n' her name is Sony!

In the past week, there’s been an eruption of news in the gaming world, what with E3 happening. New information about next-gen consoles has been released, launch titles have been announced, new titles and IPs have been shared, and most importantly, a guy dressed up in the creepiest Parappa the rapper costume to ever exist was a thing. Essentially, all is relatively well in video-game world. Yay we’re all going to be broke soon!

It might be hard to see, but the creepy is there.

However in the midst of all this buzzing, one piece of technology has been overlooked I feel: The Occulus Rift. This beautiful Daft Punk-esque headset had everyone vomiting smiles when it was announced, because it essentially meant that we’re now at the point where virtual reality can be a thing. Someone can put on the Occulus Rift and be transported fully to the video game world, fully immersing them in the environment and the game itself. Imagine putting on the Occulus Rift helmet and instantly being transported to Skyrim! Gorgeous snow-capped mountains, evergreen forests with tiny rabbits bouncing around, and realistic dragons breathing fire right in your face-you could actually BECOME the dragonborn! This is inevitably where gaming was going; even though Nintendo’s own Occulus Rift, the “Virtual Boy”, failed in 1995, gamers could look at it and know that it was possible! It told people that virtual reality will eventually come to gaming. Well here it is, and what do we do with it?

Porn, of course!

Well, not full-on porn, but essentially yes, porn. Developers Sinful Robot have announced a “game” for Occulus Rift titled “Wicked Paradise”. Described as an “erotic adventure” by the developers, the game has you essentially talking to and, with skill (?)/luck, seducing her, all within the virtual reality the Occulus Rift provides. Essentially, you can pick up a woman without actually picking up a woman. Great news for us socially-inept, neck-bearded, acne-ridden video game players, right? Thank you so much Sinful Robot! You are the true wing-man of gamers everywhere.

Me, right now. All the time.

I MEAN I really don’t know how I feel about this. I know it’s not meant to be taken seriously, and that it’s just supposed to be fun and everything, but I guess I’m just afraid that this is what the Occulus Rift will turn into: a virtual porn machine. Even worse, it mentions nothing about being able to play as a girl where you attempt to pick up guys (or pick up girls as a girl, or pick up guys as a guy for that matter), thus worsening the outside perception of the boys-only club that is gaming.

Now I’m not saying that this game will single-handedly ruin everything for anyone, and I honestly don’t expect it to sell at all considering the virtual non-existence of porn/sex-based games in the past. But if it turns into a step in that direction, and the Occulus Rift is famous for that game solely (I haven’t heard of any other games being developed for it at the moment, besides a port of Team Fortress 2), then it’ll be a little disappointing, especially when you take into account how cool the Occulus Rift could be. Can you imagine playing Amnesia or Slenderman on Occulus Rift? It’d be the ultimate horror experience, no equals. Or, experiencing the amazingly beautiful world of Columbia in Bioshock Infinite with your own eyes, in your own head! The possibilities are there, but until then, I guess “Wicked Paradise” will take the reins for us. 

Someday.